Thursday Goodness

I have been wanting to say this all week.

We're coming up on summer now.  Mr. Wild, still in his new job, me in mine and we're back to, oh, no, we're two working parents, what do we do with the kids?

Fortunately, a great friend of mine was thinking about taking on watching kids during the summer.  Her kids and our kids are almost like cousins.  Breathe sigh of relief.

But that's not the real story.  The real story is that when we went out for ice cream on Sunday and met up at the park, my dear boy Andrew somehow got his knee stuck in some of the metal equipment.  Mr. Wild was not seeing how to get him released.  He was ready to call 911.  My friend, very calmly, coolly and collectedly told Andrew to take his shoe off, then she picked him up and held him and coached him how to turn his leg until he was free.  No 911, no tears, no fuss, no muss.  If I hadn't already had her watching my kids, that was a perfect moment to show how perfect she was for the job.  I don't think I properly thanked her.

Thank you so much!  I can't even express how it made me feel.

She knows who she is.

In addition, I found out that Water for Elephants is becoming a movie.  Funny thing to me is that the lead actor appears to look an awful lot like that vampire kid.  Oh wait, that's cause he is.

Hunh, I thought he would be tall and lanky.  Is Robert Pattinson tall and lanky?  I really don't remember.

Anyone else have something for Thursday Goodness?  Leave a comment.

Random Tuesday Thoughts--Too Darn Hot!

What happened to spring?  When it says 77 degrees on my car thermometer on the way to work before 8 am and it is humid already, ugh!  It's too darn hot!



We sang this song in our high school show choir (this is not my show choir!  I am way older than that).  In our version, we really sped it up.  I liked our version better.

With this heat, out comes my iced coffees.  I make a large pot, let it cool down, equal parts milk and coffee, a splash of vanilla flavoring, ice, and voila, my summer drink.  Cheaper than $3 at the local coffee shop.  The extra coffee goes in a container in the fridge so that I have cool caffeinated drinks all week.  I can't drink cokes before 10 am.  It's not right.

Speaking of coffee, how did our ancestors, so long ago, figure out it was good to drink?  You have to roast the beans, then grind them up, then boil them in water, or pour boiling water over it.  The resultant sludge is not all that appetizing to look at.  And drinking coffee straight is really a very acquired taste.  For that matter, how did they figure out to make tea, beer, or wine?  All of these take some processing.  There had to be a lot of coincidence and accidents to make the results worth drinking.  Just kind of fascinating to think about the accidents and what would possess anyone to try the liquid.

Is it a bad thing when your knee makes a popping sound?  Should I have it looked at?  Should I not be using the arc trainers at the gym?  Maybe I just need some glucosomine.

At one time in my life, I thought I was a big city girl.  My hometown, while not tiny small, felt a little too small for my young tastes.  I swore I had to live in a big city.  I did during part of my grad school.  The next closest I came was living in the Chicago suburbs.  But suddenly, after having kids, I realized I never took advantage of the city's culture, even though it was "right there."  I dreaded the morning commute (5 miles=20-30 minutes, ok, not bad, but in the grand scheme of things, pretty slow for 5 miles), I got tired of the traffic and driving everywhere we needed to go.  We decided to move to a smaller town for our kids.  I think I'm a small town girl now.  My husband met people through a library playgroup with our daughter and we've got a fun circle of friends to hang with now.  And that I wouldn't trade for anything else.  I don't need to go to large museums or concerts or shows to have a good time with friends.  Our kids can walk to school safely and we see and know a lot of people around town.  It's a nice feeling.  I don't miss the big city.  I don't really even care about it.  How can a person's tastes change so much?

In addition to all this, we've been fighting a gastrointestinal bug at our house.  Me and Mr. Wild have been tag teaming watching the sick kid.  I am hoping we are at the end of it and he and I don't catch it.  Lots of hand washing.

How was that for random?  Check out the UnMom by clicking the button below.

Have a good Tuesday!

Insomnia

You'd think I was the one with the dance recital this weekend.

Why am I awake at 3 am?

Good question.

I'm trying to keep everything straight in my head.  Make sure my plan of action is going to work.  We have to be at the recital location (20 minutes away) for rehearsal by 10 am.  Maybe I don't need to start her hair that early.

Start her hair?

Yeah, I am going a little crazy with the dress rehearsal.  She's performing to the song, "Good Ship Lollipop."  And, of course, I have decided to make her a bunch of, you guessed it, Shirley Temple curls.  We did a dry run the other night.  I was going to put her hair in curlers, but I was worried she wouldn't be able to sleep the night before.  Instead I decided to pull out my old curling irons.  They still run after all these years.  I have a big size and a tiny size.  Both were handy.

Here's the dry run:

(Good thing I checked the camera, because I discovered the mini card was missing and had to go searching for it.  It's found and all is in place now and I should be ready for tomorrow.)


She's wearing jammies, except the hat is part of the costume, in case you were wondering.  She really likes the curls.




So, after she arrives 15 minutes early, gets her individual and group picture taken, she rehearses at 10:30 am (she's early in the show).  Then we quick change and drive back to try to get in the last of soccer at 11 am. (I don't know how this will work)  The boy also has a soccer game at 11 am.  Then we eat lunch, change again and run back to the auditorium for rehearsal for the next dance by 2:30 pm.  The rehearsal part is at 3:00 pm.  I have to bring the boy with me, because Mr. Wild is working in the afternoon.  I think I'm obsessing too much.  These extracurricular activities should not cause me to lose sleep.

After that, I should be able to take a breather.  Dance recital day is not as worrisome.  I hope all goes well.  I need to get some sleep though.

Thursday Goodness

Here's a little tasty treat, which I found by way of Random Tuesdays and Captain Dumbass.

So much linking goodness, in case you didn't wander by eventually.

Jim makes pancakes for his three year old daughter.  They look pretty amazing and run from engineering feats, to resembling other foods, to jewelry.  It made me smile during a pretty rough day.

Check it out at jimspancakes.com.

Random Tuesday, the Grrrr....edition

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, it's warming up nicely outside, and I left the house in a foul mood today.  Nothing and nobody in particular, just so much piling up and I was ready to explode.

That's right, it's Random Tuesday Thoughts.

Wish it wasn't a cloudy day in my head.

Why do I get to be the human PDA?  I have to remember bills due, ball games, recitals, rehearsals, swim lessons.  I have to remember meetings and sometimes ones Mr. Wild has at his own work.  I have to remember to get things for my staff, who is gone today, who is in today, who is subbing for whom, whether someone is out sick.  The last straw was that while I was getting ready upstairs, Mr. Wild did not call the school office to report the oldest being ill.  So I come downstairs, hoping to leave right away and finding out I need to do one more thing, other than get ready for leaving for work.  Granted he was staying with the sick kid today.  Granted he was starting to get ready to mop the floor and had put the dirty dishes away and in the dishwasher and started it.  But those things could have waited a couple of minutes while he made the call before school started.  Yes, I did not tell him to do it specifically, but nobody tells me to do it specifically.  So why does it have to be me doing it?  Or remembering to tell somebody to do it?

Grrr...

I do this to myself, this craziness with the kids in the spring.  I let them take dance and soccer and swimming all in the same season.  About now is when I kick myself for signing up for all that crap extra-curricular stuff.  I know the girl is loving it.  She got picked for the teacher's award in her class, of which I'm so proud, and she gets to do an extra dance, of which I'm also so proud.  I know she feels very excited about it and special.  But that means this weekend is insane.  Rehearsal at 9:45 am, then we try to get back to soccer at 11 am.  I'm missing son's game at 10 am.  Then eat lunch and turn around to go back at 2 or 3 pm (I haven't checked those times to know for sure, yet).  Then Sunday we'll spend the morning getting ready, taking her to the recital at 1 pm for a 2 pm start time.  And all afternoon will be in that auditorium.  Which I don't mind really, but my weekend is shot.  Thank goodness swimming was done last weekend.

I hope these kids really enjoy what they're doing, because that's why I let them.

Grrr....

Back to work again.  Still not happy here, again.  Which is sad, because I think I could be happier if the Powers-that-be created a different environment.  Instead of this one.  So I was thinking about this feminist thing and how some feminists express the opinion that women "choose" to stay home because society still makes it easier for them to choose that and pushes them to "want" to stay home and take the traditional female role because society doesn't give us enough outs to make it easier for man or woman to choose what naturally works for them.  Which I think is only partially true.  I don't want to work anymore.  If I'm going to deal with personalities that act under age 10, I think I'd rather do it with people who really are under age 10.  Here's something for the feminist ladies (and I'm talking hard core, get out and work, don't betray the movement feminists) to chew on.  Maybe work doesn't fulfill all our needs either.  Mr. Wild is struggling with this himself.  He's not sure his career should be more important than his family.  Same goes for me.  Maybe he and I should move to a small farm and work the land together with our kids.  Get back to basics.  Then I wake up and smell the benefits and can't quite make that cut.

Grrr...

What I think I'd really like to be able to do.  Teach at a university, technical or community college or high school.  Without going back to school.  And make it part-time.  Have health care that I don't have to worry about due to changing or losing jobs.  Spend part of my time away from work planning and making decent healthy meals for my family.  Spend another part actually setting aside time for reading and writing.  And have enough money that my children can choose extracurricular activities they would like to do and get to do them.

Grrr...

Okay, I like living in the Midwest, and I know that means the farmers are out and about in their big tractors, but could we please not be driving on the roads when I have to get to work?  Like, maybe get up at dawn and be in the fields before I'm driving between 7:30 and 8:00 am?  I am grateful not to be driving in heavy traffic, but going 15 mph on a country road in a no-passing zone gets my blood boiling.

Grrr...

You know what?  Go visit the UnMom.  I'm sure there is better and much more positive randomness out there. (Though Keely seems to be on the same page as me about work....)

To balance this, I'll work on something for Thursday Goodness.  If you'd like to join me in that meme, leave a message here.  I might get all technical and add a Mister Linky and everything.  We all need pick me ups, the more, the merrier we will be.

Mommy Wars? Where are the dads?

I was led to an interesting blog about someone on Facebook dissing a friend because she chose to stay at home and take care of her children after spending years in a university.   We all know that is so wrong every which way to Sunday.  No one should presume to know what's right for another person's children and lifestyle.  Then her article led me to her piece on Linda Hirschman, who, on the surface, seems to say that women who opt for the stay-at-home role are ruining the work of feminism by bowing down to male pressure to give up good jobs to stay at home.  This always gets me up in arms.  The so-called "Mommy Wars."  Because the options argued by women and among women are either, a) moms, you must stay at home with your kids or they will turn out bad and you are a bad mom, or b) moms, you must get out and work and use your talents or you will waste your education and brain by dealing with children all day.

This argument rages and rages and yet I never once see someone say, "My husband does 50-100% of the housework when we get home."  I never see anyone say, "Well, what does it mean if dad stays at home?  It's still a parent at home."  And did Betty Friedan talk about changing the role of the husband?  I don't know, I really need to read that book, but I'm betting it didn't get top billing if she did.

My theory is to level the playing field, men should have to stay home with their children for part of the baby or toddler years.  Women need to make them change diapers, watch the kids, be DADS, who are as present in their children's lives as working mothers make an effort to be.  3-5 years in the home should be enough.

Not so long ago, moms AND dads were at home.  This was called the family farm.  Dad was at home for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Sure dad might go out to the field, but he often took the children with him to help.  Mom might need some help in the house and with the critters she took care of.  Lots of give and take, adn back and forth.  Sure, there were defined roles, but I'll bet many a good marriage was a partnership with the man and woman worked TOGETHER to help the family survive and to care for the kids.

Feminism's ideals are not going to succeed until we get the men not just helping, but doing work at home and taking care of kids at home, whether they work or not.  And it starts with women expecting them to haul the change diapers, wash the clothes, kiss the boo-boos, play the games, do the dishes, make the dinner, and so on.  When the boys of those men see what they do, they will model that in their own marriage (we hope).  Change starts at home.  Your husband may not be a crack cook, but he can probably figure out the laundry.  Your wife may burn the cookies, but she may prefer to do the baths.  Who doesn't love doing the bedtime stories?  And kudos to the dads who choose to stay at home.  I know that's a very hard trend to buck and even harder when people ask you what you do.  I've seen and heard about the looks my husband got.  We wonder if some little friends weren't allowed to come over to play because HE was the stay-at-home person.  But what a great bond he developed with his kids.  And even though he's in the work world, the kids are everything to him and he misses us.  No late nights when he can avoid it.  And making dinner is so much easier when we each take a dish and do it together.

Once I was going to write a book.  Maybe I still need to.

Thursday Goodness

We always can use a little pick me up.  This one is especially appropriate just after Mother's Day.
(originally found at MSNBC)

A mom’s voice is powerful medicine

Beloved sound soothes nerves – but can it pierce a coma?

By Linda Carroll

msnbc.com contributor

updated 7:23 a.m. CT, Wed., May 12, 2010

Next time you feel anxious and tense, like a knot of nerves, instead of scheduling a massage or some time in the sun, you might want to call your mom.

A mother's voice has the power to settle jangled nerves and maybe even reach through the fog of a coma to bring a brain-injured patient back to consciousness, according to a pair of new experiments.

In a study published Wednesday, researchers from the University of Wisconsin — Madison, asked 61 girls and their moms to take part in an experiment to determine whether a voice could be as comforting as physical hugs and kisses. The girls, ages 7 to 12, were instructed to give a talk and then solve some math problems in front of a panel of judges — a situation, the researchers figured, that would make any kid’s heart pound and blood pressure rise. 

Before the girls gave their performances, the researchers measured the levels of two important and powerful hormones: oxytocin and cortisol. Cortisol is a hormone that spikes during times of stress. Oxytocin is the bonding, or so-called “love,” hormone.

“It’s generally been assumed that there has to be physical contact for oxytocin to released,” said study co-author Seth Pollak, a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin. “We were curious what would happen if the contact was only by phone.”

When the girls finished their presentations, they were sent to one of three rooms. In one, moms were waiting with hugs and kisses and warm reassurances of the girls’ success. “The moms came in and hugged the girls and stroked their hair,” Pollak said. “They’d reassure their daughters with words like ‘I’m sure you did fine. You always perform so well.’”

In another room, girls received phone calls from their mothers with verbal reassurances similar to those heard by the first group. A third group of girls didn’t meet up with their moms but were sent to watch the heart-warming movie “March of the Penguins.”

When the researchers later measured hormone levels, they found, not not surprisingly, oxytocin rose and cortisol fell in girls who had been in physical contact with their mothers. What was surprising was that the behavior of the hormones was almost identical in girls who had only spoken to their mothers on the phone.

Sweeter than a penguin movie
The girls who watched the movie saw no increase in oxytocin, while cortisol levels continued to be elevated an hour after the stressful performance.

“Oxytocin seems to put a cap on how high stress hormones can go,” Pollak says. “What tickled me about this study was that it goes against all the literature suggesting that you need to have physical contact for oxytocin levels to rise. But all that research was based on rodents.”

The study results may not apply to every mother-child pair. Pollak allows that when relationships are more complicated and there is tension involved, mom’s voice might not be so soothing.

“The reason we chose pre-pubertal children is that, for the most part, they still really do like to be comforted by their parents. As kids get older the relationship can get more complicated and strained.”

Pollak says he’d like to explore the effects of a mom’s voice in those complicated relationships in future research.

(Read the rest here...)

Mom is great for a lot of things.